April 2011
14 posts
“How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might...”
– Dorothy Parker
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
“Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
– Dorothy Parker
WatchCartwheeling for Christ!
Priest caught on-camera cartwheeling through Westminster Abbey post-wedding today. I love when he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is behind him. If God is always watching, I certainly hope he enjoyed this illustration of pure joy as much as I did.
(Video courtesy of The Sun:...
Ginger Gchat
MVC: i am in my room in a bathroom
MVC: looking STUNNING
GG: bathroom or bathrobe?
GG: is it a room within a room?
GG: INCEPTION
Maternal advice
GG: Mom, I don't have a job.
Mom: Throw that in at the end of your speech!
GG: What? What do I say, "And if you liked that...I'm employable!"
Mom: Well, you have their attention.
“She’s snarking in the face of death!”
– Claire Ayoub’s reaction to Meg Ryan’s witty delivery while en route towards impending doom in Anastasia.
“A man willing to work, and unable to find work, is perhaps the saddest sight...”
– Thomas Carlyle
Why I am a bad Catholic
[From our Easter festivities]
Mom: [To our esteemed guests] This lamb has been marinating in yogurt and spices for the past three days.
Me: Like Jesus!
Mom: [Silence]
Name check.
Two English professors knocked boots, made a baby, and named her after a literary great in the hopes that she'd follow in her epic footsteps. Unfortunately for them, little Jane Austen wants nothing more than to be a marine biologist.
Today is the first day of second grade.
Teacher: What is your name, sweetie?
Girl: Jane.
Teacher: Well, Jane, do you have a last name?
Girl: Austen.
Teacher: Oh, how wonderful! Do you want to write books, too?
Girl: I like whales.
Teacher: Oh... well, I'm sure you must love stories!
Girl: About whales?
Teacher: Well, Jane, not all stories are about whales.
Girl: They should be.
Teacher: Oh, Jane, when you're older, you'll see. The greatest stories are about love and class differences and romance gone awry, only to return the heroine and her dashing beau together again-
Girl: Some whales eat krill.
Teacher: That's very nice, Jane.
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
– Mae West 